I am probably several months behind everyone else on this but I havejust realised the point of Ryanair. No not cheap flights - so stop screaming that - they are effectively a time share type ruse. Remember those grainy flyers posted through your hotel doors when you went on your package holiday. Win a free holiday! Come to a small talk on our timeshare complex and we will give you a free holiday - no obligation to buy!
Well that is Ryanair - you pay for a ticket and they then bomabrd you for the whole of your flight with a sales pitch.
On my flight back from Germany I received the full process in an hour and a half.
Seat Belt light off.
1. Papers - £2 for the Times or Independent
2. Snacks and drinks at the sort of prices that Harrods would blush charging for a dried up old sarnie! But wait call it a Panini and they'll think the breads not stale it's been toasted!
3. Tickets for attractions - the London dungeons - but they failed to mention the £10 surcharge for buying them on the plane.
4. Scratch cards!! Seriously the Ryanair fucking scratch card - you could win 1m Euro - but you also most probably won't as the airline can't stand that sort of BA loss.
5. Jewellery and trinkets - like a bad market stall where Diamonique is the name of the game
6. Hertz rental car discount their prefered partner - really do they expect us to believe they have done a watchdog on all others and come up with Hertz or more likely Hertz offers the biggest kick back.
7. Train tickets to london - Hold on I'm on the fucking plane to London according to you - oh no I forgot London Stansted is just a name like Bournmouth Manchester Airport.
8. The latest magazine Hello or OK at just a little more than the cover value - bargin!
Cabin crew cross check for landing!!
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